Sunny Stories of the Koopa Kingdom
by J. J. W. Mezun
Summary: A collection of delightful tales that will certainly make you feel as if you have swallowed a fuzzy blanket. Take a close look at the cheery lives of everyday citizens in the happiest kingdom in the world-such as the Bob-omb destined to explode or the Chain Chomp with dreams of exploring the world.


**I. Love-Struck Chuck, the Koopa Troopa**

Our story starts on a breezy afternoon, the creamy pastures of Donut Plains stretching as far as the eye could see—at least from west to east; from north to south, the land was the thinnest slice. No one knew what would happen if someone attempted to move latitudinally; nobody ever dared.

But Chuck didn't let that ruin such a magnificent morning, where the sun covered everyone in a blanket of warmth; nor did Chuck let said sun's stormy anger ruin his day.

"Mr. Sun, why are you always so angry when there is so much to enjoy in life?"

"Whatever enjoyment you get in this game we call life is temporary, whereas cruel game over will be inevitable and permanent," Mr. Sun replied; "thus I'm getting a head start."

Their conversation was interrupted by the loud thumbing of boots upon grass. Chuck turned to the source of the sound, only for his already-enormous eyes to balloon.

What a sight this fellow was! Though Koopas considered themselves to be tall creatures, this fellow easily matched Chuck's height. But this was no mere Koopa! Garbed in fetching blue overalls and matching red shirt and hat, this man stood tall with his gloved hands and head turned to the side. _A stature fit for a statue!_ Chuck swooned. But what really made drool drip from Chuck's maw was the creamy black fur sprouting under the man's meaty nose.

Chuck's heart pounded faster than a speedrun as he gazed upon this living god. He wanted to greet him, but suddenly found his mouth clogged with Fuzzies—and his head dizzy as if he'd used a Fuzzy, as well.

Chuck opened his mouth to speak, only to stop when he saw the red-hatted man leap into the air. As Chuck's eyes rose along with the red-hatted man's amazing height, his jaw dropped in accordance.

So stunned was he by this feat that he neglected to notice the red-hatted man's shadow loom over him, until he felt the force of a truck falling onto him, shoving him into his shell.

"Ack! What happened?"

Suddenly, he felt the world rush below him. This and the sight-slaying darkness surrounding him caused him to shiver as he had never done before.

To make matters worse, he later felt a heavy smack from the front, and then the world zoomed in the other direction.

_If this doesn't stop I'm going to puke and embarrass myself in front of him!_

Eventually, he did feel the world stop by a force crushing down on him from above. Still so frightened, though, he waited a full minute before he carefully reached his head out and rejoined the outside.

When Chuck looked around him, he saw that everything was gone. Mysteriously floating bricks had mysteriously disappeared, and their question-mark-branded brethren were now signless. Moreover, the Koopas, Goombas, and even the angry sun, were nowhere in sight.

Worse, Chuck's dream mate was gone, as well.

Chuck hung his head and gazed glass-eyed at the still grass. _I didn't even have a chance to get his name. What if I never see him again?_

_Well, just in case, I'd better prepare for if I do see him again._

So Chuck wrote out a gorgeous poem full of such breathtaking metaphors as "Your bushy mustache is like a worm that infects my heart" and waited in the same lush spot he stood in earlier for the mysterious red-hatted man to reappear.

The hours sped by in their big turn-key boots, Chuck watching the sun tire himself with exasperation to sleep under the horizon, replaced by the great white sphere of the moon. When Chuck stared at its grizzled face—which looked like a slightly uglier version of his newfound love's, but with triangular nose and zigzag mustache—he thought he saw it wink. He added it to the stock of good signs he'd seen that day, such as the one that said "Koopa Air" or the one that showed a Bob-omb crossing the street.

The sun returned, and so did the red-hatted man. Wary that the red-hatted man's presence would be brief, Chuck wasted no time reciting his poetry:

"How can words do justice to the exquisite perfection of your every pixel? Wh—Hey, where are you going?"

Turned out that the red-hatted man wasted no time leaping over Chuck and scampering on his way. Chuck turned and watched as he hopped under one of the many mysterious floating question mark blocks, knocking a brunching Goomba from below.

While the red-hatted man was distracted by some strange species of flora Chuck had seen many times before, Chuck leapt at him, wrapping his arms around the red-hatted man's neck—which he found quite difficult, since the red-hatted man didn't appear to have a neck.

"Wait! Don't go without telling me your name! Please!"

To Chuck's shock, the man seemed to shrink under his very grasp with rapid flickers. He gaped at this newly half-sized person as the red-hatted man jumped back in shock, slipping through Chuck's hold as if immaterial.

The red-hatted man then edged backward, but was too late to escape before Chuck clutched him again.

"Wait! I don't mean to harm you sir! I just want to get to know you. Would you like to join me for a couple cans of Chuckola?"

The red-hatted man threw his arms out and jumped; but this time, rather than moving longitudinally, he went over the thin edge, disappearing down into the abyss with a melancholy jingle.

Chuck's face hang so low it almost touched the ground, and the corner of his eyes filled with steamy tears.

"I can't believe he hates me so much… Am I so ugly? Do I smell so bad?"

Shattered senseless, Chuck trudged forward without seeing where he was going, sighing at the grass before his feet. Eventually, he reached the end of a cliff, but he didn't care. His lives weren't worth preserving.

And so he fell into the ether, disappearing just as his love had.

The sun stared down at this with a surly smirk still smothering his visage, shaking his face.

"As I said: Game over will eventually come and wipe away all happiness forever. As if hard-coded, it never fails."


End file.
